Tag Archive for 'Victim'

Victims and Martyrs

In my line of work, I come across a wide range of people in many different situations and circumstances. Today’s post is about a cry for help from someone who is in dire need of assistance.

But here’s the thing that I make clear to people, especially those in the healthcare and holistic therapy sectors – Don’t become a martyr to the mission.

What I mean by that is – know your boundaries of what you can and can’t do for people. Make sure you know where that line is, otherwise you’ll constantly be challenged and before you know it, the “line” is gone and you’ve become a martyr.

Before I continue, it’s imperative I make absolutely sure you know I am NOT advocating altruism and philanthropy are bad – quite the contrary.

Altruism AND philanthropy are NECESSARY and VITAL to our modern society and I am a HUGE supporter – WHEN they are delivered by the right organisations like the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and the Clinton Global Initiative (to name just two).

These organisations are NOT martyrs. They are well funded, well organised engines of change and forces for “good(will)”.

The challenge is when the every day person forgets his or her values and tries to help everyone and anyone they come across – that’s when a line can be crossed.

The purpose of this email is to teach several important principles.

As I’ve blogged previously, being a mentor or great teacher is not easy.

Below is an email I received today. It’s a genuine request and my heart goes out to “Anonymous” (name withheld for privacy reasons).

Dear Marc,

It would be a great pleasure to have you as a coach and mentor. So far I cannot afford it. The price of $ 20.13 for the “My Best Year Ever Program” is ridiculously low but I still can’t pay with a card.

So this is my offer:

If you coach someone who is completely broke (me) to become successful initially for free, I promise to pay triple the price at the end of the course.

Regards,

“Anonymous”

My view is quite simple: I have published 3,000+ pages of FREE content on the Internet via 7 different blogs. These are priceless tips, tools and techniques to help people in all 4 dimensions of their business, professional, personal lives as well as the Internet. In fact I also have a blog dedicated to accelerated learning and speed reading… This is all FREE content.

What more can someone ask of me?

This is where I draw the line. Anyone who really wants to make a change can read the blog posts – THEY ARE FREE. If they can send me an email, they can access the Internet and the blog posts.

They can read the posts and START the process – IMMEDIATELY.

First, they need to get rid of limiting beliefs – Here is an example of a few limiting beliefs and constricted thinking:

  1. You don’t have to pay with a credit card. You could pay by electronic funds transfer, check or cash. It’s only $20.13. There isn’t anyone who can’t come up with that amount. They can ASK a family friend or colleague to LEND it to them. The point is MONEY IS NOT THE PROBLEM.
  2. They could ask ME to ask you (yes you reading this if YOU would donate $20.13 to him/her)… That would be more empowering than asking me for a handout. It would show initiative and out-of-the-box thinking rather than a handout. It’s different and therefore appealing to me. (If you want to donate to Anonymous, contact me and I will gladly take care of it.)
  3. Offering a triple the price of the product means a $60.39 “reward”. That means the product and the results aren’t worth much to this person. This is one of the reasons why they are not motivated enough to REALLY make a change. If they committed to pay $1,000 after making $5,000 – NOW THAT’S BELIEF and commitment. I get that those numbers might be “too big”, but $60.39 is way too small. No one can get excited about $60.39 not even someone who claims not to have $20.13 in their pocket.

Look, I understand that Anonymous is in a bad place right now and that I should be more compassionate – but that’s the problem. Most people will BEND to this request and in so doing, perpetuate this LOSER MENTALITY.

  • LOSERS prey on pity.
  • WINNERS rely on their pride to overcome ALL obstacles.
  • LOSERS want things handed to them.
  • WINNERS don’t want any charity – they want to EARN what they have.
  • LOSERS expect others to help them.
  • WINNERS help themselves.
  • LOSERS want others to show them the way, hold their hands.
  • WINNERS are self-motivated and make things happen on their own.
  • LOSERS have things happen to them
  • WINNERS make things happen.
  • LOSERS want to GET before they GIVE.
  • WINNERS want to GIVE before they GET.
  • LOSERS have limiting beliefs.
  • WINNERS have empowering beliefs.
  • LOSERS blame the world for their shortcomings.
  • WINNERS realise only they can work on their shortcomings and fix them.
  • LOSERS focus on what they LACK.
  • WINNERS focus on what they HAVE and WANT.
  • LOSERS are fatalistic.
  • WINNERS are opportunistic.

 

By the way, being a LOSER is not an identity.
You aren’t a LOSER – you just THINK like one.

 So how do you go from a LOSER’S mindset to a WINNER’S mindset?

Simple: Make the decision to NOT think and act like a LOSER.

Think and act like a WINNER.

See what happens…

Then post a comment here and let us know how you went.

Thinking and acting like a WINNER takes ONE INSTANT – ONE DECISION.

If you don’t believe it – FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

DECIDE NOW.

That’s all it takes.

You don’t need to know HOW you will succeed – you just need to decide that you WANT to succeed.

That’s why emails like this rub me the wrong way – I am already GIVING this advice for FREE to help ANYONE and EVERYONE who cares enough to make the investment in reading what I write.

I INVEST THE TIME – without compensation – for the greater good, out of the kindness and generosity of my heart. I do that because…

I care about people who want to change.

I want to help anyone who wants to improve.

I want to make what I offer accessible to EVERYONE.

I am committed to sharing my gifts and expertise openly, but not to the point of martyrdom.

All I ask is that if you want to change, that you make the MINIMUM investment – IN YOURSELF before you ever pay me one dollar.

If and when you do want to pay me, I will make sure I always over deliver.

One last point:

I could have ignored this email and/or responded privately. But I didn’t.

I thought that by sharing this with you and with Anonymous that I could have a greater influence and maybe change more than one person’s life in so doing.

It is my hope that Anonymous will take this PUBLIC forum to step up and make things happen. Unless he or she MAKES THAT DECISION – no one can help.

Not even me.

I can’t help someone who can’t help him/herself.

All the tools are available in my blogs and on my YouTube channel for FREE.

Here are 5 links that I think are the quickest way out of poverty thinking.

Take the First Step

The 1 Percent Improvement Doctrine Part 1 of 2

The 1 Percent Improvement Doctrine Part 2 of 2

Motivational Video To Get You Pumped Up

Inspirational Video To Get You Thinking Anything Is Possible