Internet Marketing Blog

I am an avid dog lover which is why I get along so well with two of my clients: Bree Robbins of Paddington Pups and Cory Andrews of The Dogs Country Club Kennel and Resort in Victoria.

I’m sure they’ll refer to this blog post from their blogs since it’s one of the many Internet Marketing Strategies I covered at the recent Blogging for Business Sales Lead Generation and How To Converts Your Online Browsers To Buyers Workshops – now both available as convenient Webinars.

When Angela Muzyczka sent me this joke, I just had to share it with you, not for SEO reasons, but because it’s funny.

The Difference Between Dogs And Computers

Favorite Food
Dogs: Kibbles
Computers: Bits

Method used to end undesirable behavior
Dogs: Hit with rolled up newspaper
Computers: Hit control-alt-delete

After destruction of personal property
DOGS: Dog not found
COMPUTERS: File not found

Favorite trick
DOGS: Roll over
COMPUTERS: Play dead

Read More »»

I am not a fan of Facebook. This is one of the many reasons… People manipulating their online identities to be who they’re not, to have frriends they would NEVER think of inviting to their homes… I wanted to share this with you because it was funny if it wasn’t so true.

I know too many people who post a profile picture that is 5 to 10 years old…

What do they think the impression is when someone meets them in person and they LOOK that much older?!?!?

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression”

If the first impression is deceitful, how do you move on from there?!?!

If you think you’re an Internetaholic, addicted to Social Media, Tweeting and Facebooking your every move – Have a look at this video I am sure you’ll tweet and forward it on!

The next time your wifi signal drops out or your ADSL line goes dead, here are a few suggestions of what you could do.

If you are ‘new’ to the Internet, have no fear, you’re not the only one…

As you are receiving e-mail, it’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally and with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Michigan man who left the snow-filled streets of Detroit for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Hearing the scream, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

“Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in.

Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!”

Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics Anonymous, we can help.

Yes, you–we’re talking to you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Have you checked downstairs to see if your family still lives with you?

We’re a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counselling through weekly (off-line) meetings designed to help you cope with your problem.

We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never “cured,” you most certainly can recover.

We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do you:

1. Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?
2. Check e-mail more than five times a day?
3. Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?
4. Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?
5. Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you’ll receive a reply one day from a company you’ll never do business with anyway?
6. Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?
7. Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?
8. Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you’d usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?
9. Do you have thousands of friends on Facebook you never want to meet in a million years?
   
10. All of the above?

If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at:

1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE’SSAKE

We’re here, we’re free, and we’re confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem.

Call us today. That is, if you can power off to free up your phone line.

If you’re a little intimidated by the Internet, this short YouTube video, viewed by more than 10 million people should help you navigate this new and exciting frontier.

One of the Internet Marketing Strategies you need to consider is finding videos like this and sharing them with your suspects, prospects and clients. The important point to remember is that they must be relevant to your audience.

As we know, seniors are adopting the “Interweb” like never before, so if you’re sending texts to them as part of a multi media campaign, you should use the most recent codes, sent to me courtesy of Andrew Powell of Montreal, Canada.

ATD – at the doctors.

BFF – best friend fell.

BTW – bring the wheelchair.

BYOT – bring your own teeth.

FWIW – forgot where I was.

GGPBL – gotta go, pacemaker battery low.

GHA – got heartburn again.

IMHO – is my hearing aid on?

LMDO - laughing my dentures out.

OMMR – on my massage recliner.

OMSG – oh my! sorry, gas.

ROFLACGU – rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up.

TTYL – talk to you loud.

I came across this insightful article by Dudley B. Dawson

Below are seven habits that consistently appear at offices across the world. If you have additional examples, please feel free to provide them in the comments below.

1. Including email signatures that include credentials like “MBA” or “HRMS” after their name. Existing readers are well aware of the distaste for credentials in email signatures as described in “Email Signatures: Adding “MBA” after your name is very telling“. [Note – I disagree in principle with this, but will leave that for another blog post – this article is about Dudley’s list, not mine.]

2. Adding clipart to your email. Often the work of administrative assistants, human resources, or other corporate cheerleaders. To think that when these people attach the clipart they imagine recipients smiling. This is called reputation distortion. Those who think others believe them to be a cheery person are actually the people most despised by the office. Clipart photos are to corporate cheerleaders as rainbows are to the GLBT.  Immediate and universal identification. Read More »»

Today’s post will become a classic because it’s so relevant for anyone who is in technical support or has to deal with customer service requests. It’s a contribution from Daniel Pinter of B Technologies. There are so many lessons that we all can learn from… Of course AFTER we stop laughing (at ourselves)!