Archive for the 'Internet Jokes' Category

Internet Addiction

Internet Addiction

Seeing the forest for the trees or _____?

I use this metaphor to explain Internet Marketing Strategies all the time.

Forest For The Bears

The Social Contribution Of Social Media

As a reader or subscriber to this blog, you know my ‘opinion’ of social media… This cartoon summarises it quite cleverly. social_media

iPad German Commercial

This is just too funny – don’t worry, you don’t need to understand any German to laugh out loud at this hilarious commercial.

Smartphone Addicts – A solution

Smartphone cone

Facebook Friends

This is from a parody Twitter account, but I thought it made the point quite succinctly:

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in a mental hospital.

Tweet - Facebook Friends

The Interpet

This is too funny not to share – especially if you are a dog lover…
The Interpet - dog

Exponential Marketing Comic 2

This is the second in a series of comics, the first installment was about missed opportunities. This one’s about making the most of the opportunities that present themselves.

Online Lead Generation, Business Coaching, Business Mentoring

For some comics and cartoons might appear to be juvenile, silly or even immature, but the reality is that humour gives us the chance to laugh at ourselves within a safe context. It allows us the opportunity, in this case to reassess what we want and why we want it — and ultimately IF we want “it”.

These are deep, profound questions that humour does not dismiss but rather lightens the load for us.

The throw away phrase is that “life is too short to be too serious”. I agree. I also agree that with humour, we have another dimension for self-awareness and self-discovery.

It’s one of my foundational principles of my coaching and mentoring philosophy.

If nothing else, enjoy the comics, otherwise contact us when you’re ready. We’ll show you how you can have fun growing your business.

Browsers Need Motivation

This is just plain silly… But I had to share it with you because often, we are just too damn serious. Enjoy!
browser cheer

Tech Support

We have all had our run ins with tech support, but when was the last time you saw it from THEIR point of view?

Here is a glance into their world. How much patience would YOU have?!?!

Tech   support:       What kind of computer do you have?
Female   customer:      A  black one…
===============

Customer:    Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my disc out.
Tech  support:  Have you  tried pushing the release button?
Customer:  Yes, sure; the tray comes out but  there’s nothing in it.
Tech  support:  Does  disc content show up on your screen?
Customer:   …Oh! …wait a   minute….. I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….
=============== Continue reading ‘Tech Support’

Social Media Marketing

Social Networks, Social Media Marketing

Technical Support Flowchart

Technical Support, Technical Support Cheat Sheet

Grooming The Internet

I’m not sure where this came from, but I thought it was cute enough to share with you. It’s what business blogging is all about…

Internet Cartoon, Business Blogging

… When you find something worth sharing, please forward it on to me so I can then leverage it for our readers!

Internet / Computer Acronym Definitions

Here is a list of popular acronyms and their definitions…

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing

APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit Leading Entity

IBM = I Blame Microsoft

DEC = Do Expect Cuts

CA = Constant Acquisitions

CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.

SCSI = System Can’t See It

DOS = Defunct Operating System

BASIC = Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control

WWW = World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH = Most Applications Cool; If Not, The OS is Hot!

Dogs and Computers

Wags Day Out, Paddington Pups, Dogs V ComputersI am an avid dog lover which is why I get along so well with two of my clients: Bree Robbins of Paddington Pups and Cory Andrews of The Dogs Country Club Kennel and Resort in Victoria.

I’m sure they’ll refer to this blog post from their blogs since it’s one of the many Internet Marketing Strategies I covered at the recent Blogging for Business Sales Lead Generation and How To Converts Your Online Browsers To Buyers Workshops – now both available as convenient Webinars.

When Angela Muzyczka sent me this joke, I just had to share it with you, not for SEO reasons, but because it’s funny.

The Difference Between Dogs And Computers

Favorite Food
Dogs: Kibbles
Computers: Bits

Method used to end undesirable behavior
Dogs: Hit with rolled up newspaper
Computers: Hit control-alt-delete

After destruction of personal property
DOGS: Dog not found
COMPUTERS: File not found

Favorite trick
DOGS: Roll over
COMPUTERS: Play dead

Continue reading ‘Dogs and Computers’

Facebook Profile Photos

I am not a fan of Facebook. This is one of the many reasons… People manipulating their online identities to be who they’re not, to have frriends they would NEVER think of inviting to their homes… I wanted to share this with you because it was funny if it wasn’t so true.
Facebook, Social Networking, Social Notworking

I know too many people who post a profile picture that is 5 to 10 years old…

What do they think the impression is when someone meets them in person and they LOOK that much older?!?!?

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression”

If the first impression is deceitful, how do you move on from there?!?!

Internetaholic?

If you think you’re an Internetaholic, addicted to Social Media, Tweeting and Facebooking your every move – Have a look at this video I am sure you’ll tweet and forward it on!

What to do when the Internet is down

The next time your wifi signal drops out or your ADSL line goes dead, here are a few suggestions of what you could do.

Be careful with email

As you are receiving e-mail, it’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally and with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Michigan man who left the snow-filled streets of Detroit for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Hearing the scream, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

“Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in.

Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!”

Are You An Internetaholic?

Internet Marketing, Online Lead Sales Generation

Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics Anonymous, we can help.

Yes, you–we’re talking to you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Have you checked downstairs to see if your family still lives with you?

We’re a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counselling through weekly (off-line) meetings designed to help you cope with your problem.

We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never “cured,” you most certainly can recover.

We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do you:

  1. Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?
  2. Check e-mail more than five times a day?
  3. Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?
  4. Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?
  5. Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you’ll receive a reply one day from a company you’ll never do business with anyway?
  6. Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?
  7. Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?
  8. Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you’d usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?
  9. Do you have thousands of friends on Facebook you never want to meet in a million years?
  10. All of the above?

If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at:

1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE’SSAKE

We’re here, we’re free, and we’re confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem.

Call us today. That is, if you can power off to free up your phone line.