We’ve all heard the annoying multi-letter acronyms that amount to Jumbled Jargon. No industry is safe from it.
Overheard at the end of a dimly lit bar:
Gary:(Leaning in, whispering softly) “I’m telling you, Chad, we got completely pickled out there today. Total humiliation. I couldn’t even score once.”
Chad:(Sighs, taking a swig of beer) “Well, it’s not my fault! You kept screaming for a Bert right when I was gearing up for an ATP around the backside.”
Gary: “Oh, please. You love a good Bert. You literally jumped right across my side just to get your hands on it.”
Chad: “Because you weren’t handling the pressure! Every time they targeted my chicken wing, you froze. You’ve got to tuck it in, Gary. I’m highly sensitive in that area.”
Gary: “My position was fine. It was my equipment. Look at this… “Total delamination. There’s zero stiffness left. It’s just a sad, limp dead paddle at this point. I couldn’t absorb any of the incoming pace.”
Eavesdropper:(Chokes slightly on his beer, eyes widening)
Chad: “Excuses. We agreed on the strategy beforehand: shake and bake. I drive it hard, you rush forward to crash the front, and we finish together. Instead, you just stood there while they gave us a Nasty Nelson right in the face.”
Gary: “Hey, nobody expects a Nasty Nelson when they’re just hanging out near the kitchen! It caught me completely off guard. I tried to pull off a quick Ernie on the edge, but my foot slipped and I lost my balance.”
Chad: “An Ernie? Please. You don’t have the legs for that kind of airtime. You’re better off keeping it low and soft. I’ve told you more than once, you just need a gentle, delicate dink in the sweet spot.”
Gary: “I tried to dink! But he came back with a hard, aggressive chupa right at my body to back me off, and I just couldn’t handle the friction.”
Chad: “Next time, we’re stacking. I don’t care if it feels awkward starting on the wrong side, we need to get our bodies aligned if we’re ever going to score.”
Eavesdropper: (Having heard more than enough, he slowly slid across to the end of the bar)
This is a humourous take on poor communication, the conversation was two pickleball players recounting their on-court exploits…
Pickleball Terms
- Bert: An advanced shot where a player crosses over the kitchen line in front of their partner to hit a ball out of the air on the partner’s side of the court.
- ATP (Around the Post): A legal shot hit from deep outside the court that travels sideways around the net post and lands in bounds, staying below net height.
- Nasty Nelson: A trick serve where the server intentionally hits the opposing non-receiver standing close to the kitchen line to win the point automatically.
- Chupa: A hard, aggressive drive shot hit directly at the opponent’s body to force a mistake.
- Dead Paddle: A defensive technique where a player completely loosens their grip to absorb all the power from an opponent’s smash, dropping the ball softly into the kitchen.
- Shake and Bake: A two-part doubles strategy where player A hits a hard drive shot, and player B rushes forward to crash the net and smash the weak return.
- Targeting the Chicken Wing: Intentionally hitting the ball at the dominant shoulder or armpit of an opponent, forcing them into an awkward, cramped defensive position.
- Stacking: A tactical positioning strategy in doubles where players start on the “wrong” sides during a serve or return to keep a specific player on the left or right side.
- Delamination: A structural failure where the face of a composite paddle separates from its core, causing an illegal, trampoline-like spring effect.
- Pickled: A slang term used when a team loses a game 11-0, scoring zero points.
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